So I ask you, how do you deal with your emotions?? No really, how?? Life can be frustrating some times, and well, we either deal with the emotion, or we stuff it and pretend it isn’t there… I guess it’s all in how you’ve been taught how to deal with your feelings… I guess it’s all about how you were brought up. For myself, I brought myself up. I had no real teachings about feelings, hell, my mother drank her feelings away. I guess that’s what I was taught, it was to drowned it in drinking and fighting with her spouse. It’s funny how we learn the things we don’t want to do as adults, but don’t learn what we need to.
Like fighting with your spouse. I KNEW that I was not going to have a relationship with anybody that contained fighting. You wonder where I put my frustrations and feelings, somewhere I’m sure, but I don’t make it obvious to the other person involved, why? Because I’m afraid they will walk away and I will be abandoned once again…
So how do we feel with knowing that abandonment is an important part of everyone’s life… Abandonment from a parent, a spouse, or family member, is tough, trust me I know… So how do we get over it?? How do we deal with the feelings that surround the abandonment, and how about dealing with the continuous knee jerk reaction that we all face with pushing people away?
Please this is a forum, I would like to hear your responses... I would like to make this a learning experience not only for you, but for myself.
Hello, this is riley… I have recently been asked to help run the forum. I am a person with lived experience of a mental illness and I am a Certified Peer Support Specialist in the State of Iowa.
I have a firm belief that people are put on this earth to learn from one another, and that if we open our eyes and believe in recovery, anything is possible.
I have had many struggles in my life, some I am still trying to work through, and I do this on a daily basis. I have heard more than once that Mental Illness is not for wimps!!! I can attest to that!! It seems that having a mental illness sets us up to “feeling good” one day and “feeling bad” another. It seems it is not who you are, but it is something that we have to deal with every minute of every day. Whether you’re doing well and moving forward in your recovery, or riding the “speed bumps” that trip you up in the road we all can survive the ride.
I’ll give you an example… I have recently considered myself pretty stable… I was provoked into a conversation with a person who has a huge anger problem, especially when his mental health isn’t doing well. This person spent 1 hour in two conversations yelling at me and taking out his anger/aggression on me. I tried very unsuccessfully, to change the direction of each conversation that we had… I tried my best Peer Support skills, and although I felt this person was reaching out, he wasn’t willing to listen to what I had to say to help him let go of some of his anger. Frustrated, I told him that I would speak with him later. Once I hung up the phone, I was paralyzed, it felt that there was an elephant on my chest and I started having flashbacks of a not to nice time in my life.
That’s why it’s so important to be nice and compassionate when people are fragile. There are no stigmas, attitudes, and prejudices in this forum. We are all persons who are interested in helping each other in their recovery.
With love and peace,